08 Jul What Nobody Can Possibly Understand about My Depression

As a child, and later as a teen, I was never a great student. As far back as I can remember that’s how it was for me. However, when high school came around, things took a turn for the worse. My freshman year of high school was a disaster. I failed Algebra, as I never had the motivation to do my assignments on time (if at all) and I could never retain information from class. Even after freshman year, things didn’t seem to improve. To my parents dismay, I failed several classes my sophomore year, as my life seemed to go from bad to worse.

My parents were unable to understand why school was so difficult for me; they were utterly confused. “Why? Why is this SO hard for you? Just tell me, because your father and I can’t seem to understand why on earth you can’t just pass a class.”

My response to them was, “I don’t know. I just don’t care.”

Although I didn’t know it at the time, that answer summed up what was wrong in a beautifully simplistic form. I now know that the reason for my struggling in school was because of my depression. The first time someone suggested that depression might be the cause of my troubles came from my mother’s close friend. My mother told her of my behavior and poor grades, and she recommended an appointment with a local psychiatrist. My mother, desperate to get me on track, scheduled an appointment as soon as possible.  
Not long into our appointment, Dr. Sambunaris concluded that I did in fact suffer from depression. He suggested that I enroll in a clinical trial, telling me that after the eight weeks of participating I would receive three months of aftercare free of charge, and that I would receive a gas  card to make the trips easier for me. I was given a placebo during the trial, however Dr. Sambunaris made it his top priority to find a solution that worked for me in aftercare.

After the first month of taking an antidepressant he carefully selected for my unique symptoms and brain chemistry, there was an improvement in my mood and  behavior. I was happy and motivated. It was as if my nerves had gone numb all those years before and suddenly I could feel again. Fast forward to today and I am a successful and productive junior undergraduate student studying at Duke hoping to major in American literature . In hindsight, I have the clinic and Dr. Sambunaris to thank, more than anyone else, for getting my life back on track.