07 Jul Disney Might Not Be Everybody’s “Happiest Place on Earth”
“My family and I just came back from a week-long vacation to Disney World- my two little boys and husband had been excited for months. We arrived early on a Saturday morning, and my husband and kids were eager to go to the park. I, however, was not so eager. I was not feeling up to it, so I decided to stay back and read my book by the pool. My husband and kids returned to the hotel around six hours later, I assumed that they had had fun since they looked exhausted. My husband however did not confirm my assumption; he told me that the kids did not have fun knowing that their mother was not there with them. I honestly did not expect that to happen — they should be able to have fun without me! Even after talking to my husband, the next day came along and I still decided to stay back to read my book. Well, I guess I could say I tried to read my book, but my focus turned away from the pages and onto the families playing in the pool around me. Through my sunglasses, I watched them jump into the pool, splash in the water and enjoy themselves. How could they be so happy and having so much fun?
My boys came back from the park, moping and cranky, the opposite of the children I had observed in the pool earlier. My husband again told me that I needed to come to the park with them, and this time I reluctantly agreed. The next day was awful- the lines in the park were long, I was hungry, tired and dying from the heat. I just wanted to go home and lie on the couch; the park was too much to handle. My children’s initial excitement that I was coming with them was quickly turned into disappointment as I sulked around the park. I felt so guilty that I could not be the active mom they wanted me to be.
The rest of the trip continued the same way. There were days when I stayed in the hotel and on the days I went to the park, I just felt miserable. I felt horrible about my behavior on vacation. This had been the worst vacation we had ever been on, and I knew it was my fault. We had spent a lot of money and taken time off of work, only to return with two children who lacked the magic and imagination that Disney World is supposed to bring them. My mood affected my entire family: my feelings and worries became my family’s as well. I never thought I needed help for how I was feeling, but as I looked at my kids and their disappointment I couldn’t help but feel like I had let them down.
I think that maybe I should get help for their sake, so I can be a better mom. I want to be that fun mom that does fun stuff, but right now it is hard to be there for them.”
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Depression in any family affects the entire family.
Environmentally, a mother with depression creates an atmosphere of low energy, withdrawal, irritability and negativity. In turn, these symptoms remove the nurturing that children seek and thrive on. As in the above story, the mother’s mood not only prevented her from enjoying the vacation, but also prevented her two young boys from enjoying it too. It was as if her mood had become their world. When she was not there with them, the boys missed her. It was after all, supposed to be a family vacation and their family just didn’t seem complete. However, when they finally convinced their mom to join them, she was so miserable, everyone had a miserable time.
In addition, Dad was forced to become a single father trying to do his best on a family vacation. As he tries to do his best to give his two sons a great experience, he felt worn down physically and emotionally. Vacations should be rejuvenating, not emotionally exhausting. Over the long term, this imbalance between parents can affect the marital relationship or even the marriage itself.
Getting medical help for yourself is one of the greatest gifts you as a parent can give your family. Call the Institute for Advanced Medical Research at 770-817-9200 to learn about options and maybe even improve the future family vacations for yourself and others!
To read the next part of this mother’s story, click here.